ANNIVERSARY REFLECTIONS

by Shirley M. Carolan, ATM-G

I’m fast coming up on the anniversary of my bout with pneumonia which escalated into complications and an emergency trip to Scripps Memorial Hospital in Encinitas, where I remained for 10 days.

Hard to believe a year has almost passed and my life has changed so much. Prior to this my health was never a problem. I thought I was invincible! After all I’d done four (4) Firewalks with Tony Robbins in the late ‘80’s and early ‘90’s and had a lot of tools to work with. Still taking risks in my mid ‘60s and moving from my beloved San Francisco to North San Diego county, sight unseen, no job, and no friends yet.

But, I knew I had a multitude of skills to fall back on. The only problem was I hated marketing myself and I took to using my office/administrative skills, landing me back in the “secretarial ghetto” which I’d struggled most my life to escape! When folks asked me what I could do, I’d proudly announce that I could and have done everything but dig ditches! Yes, I could paper the wall with all the State licenses, certificates, diplomas and education I’d worked so hard to achieve. But, something was always missing… I think I’ve got a handle on that now.

I’ve reinforced some positive beliefs about what my life is about today and I’ve let go of the anger, resentments and disappointments of bygone days replacing them with gratitude and forgiveness, particularly of myself! My mother used to tell me as a child growing up in England “how much she and Dad had sacrificed to give me the finest education money can buy.” I no longer have to feel or prove that I am worthy of something I could never repay, no matter how hard I tried...

This past year has been quite a learning curve since I am still somewhat limited in my physical activities. And, coming down with Shingles last August which still affects me, was the icing on the cake. Patience was never my strong suit but I’ve had multiple lessons this past year to get on top of that, including another emergency visit to Scripps Memorial Hospital last month.

Today, I don’t take myself, or any of my possessions, so seriously that I can’t enjoy what’s going on in my life on a daily basis! Now, that’s progress, at least for me! Now I can work on some other bad habits that only I can change. Even if I have to wait awhile for some lesson to surface, I’m ready for the challenge!

Bon jour!

Shirley M. Carolan, ATMG
Writer ● Speaker ● Artist
artistwithaflair@att.net
Phone/Fax: 760-732-0663
http://www.shirleycarolan.com
http://www.angelscross.blogspot.com
http://www.smcarolan.blogspot.com

Copyright© 2010 by Shirley M. Carolan. All rights reserved. To reprint any part of this article simply contact Shirley Carolan at artistwithaflair@att.net. Thank you